Hoodabada(TM) Detector

I am in the midst of an intensive research and development project on a Hoodabada™ Detector. It seems like it wouldn’t be difficult. Sort of a cross between a lie detector and a spy microphone. All of the data could be uplinked via laser-empowered satellite signals to a central server where it would be analyzed and then interpreted with the answers being downloaded before the pastor’s next appointment.

For those of you who don’t know, don’t remember, or were trying to forget, Hoodabada™ is the word I have made up to describe the stuff that goes on between staff pastors and the senior pastor in "normal" churches. We all know that the emerging churches operate in such a state of pristine authenticity and transparency that no Hoodabada™ can exist. And there are very few multi-staff emerging churches as well.

The other form of Hoodabada™ found in the local church is that which goes on between parishoners and pastoral staff. This usually comes up when someone wants to complain about something and the conversation eventually gets to the point where someone says "Yo mama!"

A prime example happened to me while I was accidentally pastoring. We had a group of people who considered themselves excellent practitioners of prayer. From time to time they would tell me that they wanted to see us pray more in our Sunday gatherings. Heeding their suggestion I spent a month emphasizing prayer and concluded in a "concert of prayer" type service.

When the service had concluded the "number 1" prayer came up to tell me, "That was a nice try! It’s a shame you really don’t understand how to pray!"

I didn’t need a Hoodabada™ detector that day. The place was reeking with it! Anyway, I am working on a prototype. 🙂