My good friend, Tim

I’m learning how to grieve. It’s a process. It’s not linear: first, denial; second, anger; third, you get the idea. There’s a lot of jumping back and forth on the scale. If I tried to do it all at once, I think the sadness would overwhelm me. So, I take it in doses that I can handle.

This morning I took a little ride and spent some time with one of my favorite singers, Tim McGraw. I drive, I sip a drink, the window is rolled down and I listen to the music. And then a phrase from one of the songs hits me. I cry. Country music is especially good for this for me. The songs are full of love lost, and regret and pretty often, Jesus. I pray, especially in the morning. My favorite is the Lord’s Prayer: “Thy will be done.” I cry and I surrender to reality. People I love have gone on to be with the Lord. I miss them. I remember.

Sometimes I think about the mistakes I have made, the things I have left unsaid, the people I have hurt. Then I give all of that pain to God. Usually peace eventually begins to rest on me. And I move on. I find it’s best when I’m alone. Just me and the Holy Spirit, who is always there to comfort me.

I pray today, that you will learn early, to grieve. I am mourning, but I am comforted. I am mourning, but I am beginning to feel my feet tap to the beat of a new song. A song of gladness and joy. It’s nearby, very close, just around the next corner.